Joy, strength, and shortcake.
"We tend to feel that we are doing the greatest good in the world when we are strong and fit for active duty and when our hearts and hands are busy with kind acts of service. Therefore when we are set aside to suffer, when we are sick, when we are consumed with pain, and when all of our activities have been stopped, we feel we are no longer of any use and are accomplishing nothing.
Yet, if we will be patient and submissive, it is almost certain we will be a greater blessing to the world around us during our time of pain and suffering than we were when we thought we were doing our greatest work.
Then we are burning and shining brightly as a result of the fire."
-Streams in the Dessert. By L.B. Cowman
Hey friends,
It is May 1st as I write this. This may feel a little off kilter compared to my normal posts, but I just wanted to chat, pen pal style. To share my heart and offer some encouragement as I approach the end of a "dry" season, if you will.
I don’t quite know what to call this season actually, because “hard” doesn’t scratch the surface, and “growth” doesn’t fully do it justice. It was a month of surrender. And as I start to see a small sliver of light at the end of a very long tunnel, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude knowing there was a fourth man in the fire the entire time.
The story goes...
At the end of March, I started to feel a little pinch in my back. Nothing serious, really more annoying than anything. It hurt to get out of bed. There was a spasm when I lifted my leg. I was more reserved in my workouts, but for most of the day, I felt totally fine.
Until I wasn’t.
The pain got worse. I was more uncomfortable doing even the most mundane things throughout the day. “Normalcy” was fading, and I was heavily relying on ice breaks and ibuprofen. And as someone who considers herself very active, and honestly unhappy when sitting still, this was unsettling. But I kept thinking it would resolve itself and go away.
Until it didn’t.
One morning in April, in the middle of the night, I was in so much pain. My back and leg were spasming so badly that my husband encouraged me to go to the ER, to start finding answers, but mostly to find some relief. I was given a steroid shot and some pain medicine and was able to rest a bit. But the pain never really went away. Once the medicine wore off, it came back worse, and worse, and I was growing weary.
The doctors said, “This sounds like a pinched nerve.” Which honestly made me laugh (and cringe), because “pinched nerve” should really be replaced with “someone is pouring acid down your leg.” That would have made much more sense in the moment. But I digress.
There is joy in this story.
And that joy is even sweeter because sorrow was in the midst of it.
The official diagnosis: yes, a pinched nerve caused by not one, but two bulging discs.
This is an injury that takes time to heal, and it is all-consuming.
I have learned (the hard way) there really is "no quick fix" to nerve pain. But in those first few days, it felt really dark. The pain was intense, but the mental battle was even louder. This seemingly common injury quickly turned into thoughts of, “What if this pain never goes away?” and “What if this is my new normal?”
I found myself face down in my war room (the laundry room), crying out to God to heal my back. Specifically, to put everything back together the way it was supposed to be. To release the nerve and relieve me from the pain. I wanted it so badly. I believed He could, and I prayed that He would.
And the next day, I woke up in so much pain still.
Later that night, I found myself again in a desperate place, crying out to God to take the pain away, and if not the pain to go completely away, just show me that this wouldn’t last forever.
And that is when I opened my Bible and the first verse I read was Jeremiah 33:6
“I will bring health and healing to it. I will heal my people and let them enjoy abundant peace and security.” GOD, the Creator of the entire universe... spoke to me. Clear as day. Through His Word. I don’t know that I’ve ever experienced such a clear, immediate promise in my life.
What a gift. A gift given on one of my most painful nights. But I knew in that moment that my God made me a promise, and He does not break His promises. So, I could move forward and trust, even while still in pain.
Where there is hope, there is healing.
As I write this, I am currently fasting from social media so I can be fully in tune, without distractions, with what the Holy Spirit is speaking to me in this season. I knew a few nights ago that I needed to step back, and I’ve been doing my best to walk in obedience minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.
One of the greatest blessings of working with my mom is that she fully surrendered to the Lord a long time ago when she left her nursing job to start selling sourdough starters with me.
So when I say, “Hey, I feel like the Lord is asking me to pause for a second, even though we have a big launch coming up… even though we planned spring recipes… even though no content is lined up…”
She understands.
Because delayed obedience is still disobedience.
And we’ve been entrusted with this small space on the internet, to be the hands and feet of the Kingdom on this side of heaven. There is no room for disobedience. Especially not now. And my mom gets it.
So that brings us to today—May 1st, 2026, 10pm.
I just crawled out of my girls’ room after a full day at the strawberry patch, a taco dinner, and countless bedtime stories. My back still kind of hurts… but my soul is on fire for this new season.
We have been dreaming, praying, and planning for a fresh wind to move through Acts of Sourdough, and I’m beginning to believe that a herniated disc might be one of the most gracious things that has ever happened to me.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
—James 1:5
This verse implies a necessary humility. It requires acknowledging a lack and a need. Are you truly willing to admit you don’t have all the answers? That your own understanding is limited?
Asking for wisdom isn’t passive.
It’s active surrender.
God works all things together.
All things.
We'll talk soon!
Xo, Courtney
Enjoy of snippets of the last few days <3
And one of my family's favorite strawberry shortcake recipes! <3
